what dying feels like

no man is an island, but it doesn't mean we can't feel that way. there has baan a heaving massive sickness in my heart for too long. a kind of pain even the city lights couldn't wash away. don't we just want to escape? oh and how much i can see it coming. and how much i'm dreading the day. because i know where i'm lying on the bottom of this ocean. dissapointed. by man, by the world, maybe even God. and i'm wondering who hears me screaming out in the night. i'm lost the hope of asking. maybe we all deserve to die. that's all livng is anyway.

but still every face is yours. every smell is the last one you left here. every laugh if one i'm not having. today the coming together of so much, yet the thread to tie it in is missing. the songs i sing, the songs i hear are of you and how to say i love you. and i hope, on the other side of this world, you can hear me.

it's been so long since i heard your voice. i know where my body lies. i know where my heart is going. i once told you you were not welcome there, and now it's standing with the door open, waiting for you to come home.

maybe this is foolish. maybe i'm just a girl. but i've told you for five long years that i'd be waiting. and we have come so far.

the day is dawning when my heart will break again, most likely at your hands. but i will pick it up and put it back together, and love you still with it's ragged beat.

you are all i've ever needed.
you are all i've ever wanted.

i am lost without you.

i'm here. i'm waiting. i'm with you. i miss you. i need you. i want you. i love you.

two months in and now i'm frightened.
tell me that you're not going to go