if you _ _ _ _ what i do

i hear you speak about the way things are going. i know you well enough to look for the hint in your eye. it is not my place to evaluate the illusion you have talked yourself into. but don't look at me and expect to see the jealousy you long for. don't speak to me as if you have something to prove. because if you knew the things that i do, you wouldn't think it was going so smoothly. "love" is a general meaning, and if it happened to _ _ _ it can happen to you. deep down inside i know you know better.

when i saw you i thought "how sad you must be" i didn't see a simple smile or hope in you. its no use to lie to yourself about these things. yet you tell me it''s working. you tell me it's what you hoped it would be. baby, i promise you, it isn't.

i'm sorry i'm happy in front of you. i'm sorry you wish i felt dejected or envious of something you make believe you have. the fact is, i am happy. i am whole. i am on the mend. and most of all i am loved... beyond belief, beyond reason, and far beyond what i deserve. you've fooled yourself into believing the same is true for you. i've already stated: you know better.

go with your gut. and know that i already know what's coming. if you have to compensate the way you do... something is missing. and we both know it. so stop pretending, stop hoping to see me react. it's not going to happen. i'm sorry.


"what i am to you is not what you mean to me" remember that when he tells you "i love you"