take your time

soon there wont be any time left.

that old familiar sink is plunging into my bones. usually it waits for colder weather, the kind with heavy coats and red faces. i was hoping to put it off until the fall. i hope you all understand that every day lived is one more we'll never have again. every sick moment when we push our children away, or assume our friends are fine without us. every hug not given, every hand not held, they pile heavy and black over the heads of people like me who never learned to swim in the shadow. and i keep on negotiating with the dead over their hospital music. would you lift my head a little and keep me comfy? the world is teaching us to seize the day by taking every selfish opportunity to do something for ourselves. we should spend our days easing the pain of those around us. we tend to be so goddamn selfish. and maybe this feeling usually lives in the cold because that's the weather where its comfortable. don't forget that every second you decide to not love someone, to be dismissive, to forget the ache, just remember you're killing someone like me.

and it's real slow, honey, painful and real slow.
it's just for show, honey, painful and just for show.
it's too slow, honey, painful and real slow.

"blackbird come the break of dawn... walk outside get in the car
stare at the wheel and fall apart."