i would have stayed up with you all night

amid the fumes of the makeshift brewery filled with 20 something's out of school, married, and employed time slowed down as if 2007 would never get here. phones start ringing, lovers hold close and kiss as if it were the last chance of their lives, songs an pops and shots of not just alcohol but fire as well. i made my way to one singular number and drunkenly slur the sign of the season. had i been sober there would have been more love that just a ringing in of the new year and to the one i called... i am sorry for the screaming :).

but more into the moments i understand now there was some place in my body that the dyed hair, fake lashes, and kitten heels could not get to. there was a need and a want to let you know... and poorly so... that i hope this year is better than the last one and that you find the peace that i am so hopelessly searching for. you are intentionally the most beautiful person i know with the power to walk on the oceans, at least the oceans of human hearts. mine included.

heed your own words of worth and love, my dear. you deserve the happiness. and the clarity of the blackhaired girl in the corner of the world last night would have turned your head. and it made me smile. that smile you love so much.

i wish you could have been there.