cotton candy

me: i'll write what i damn well please.

to the boy: another promise broken, you're a liar. another heart is broken. i hate being angry at you. but these demons i will save for a rainy(er) day. don't touch me. you make me feel dirty. you make me feel ugly. why don't i make you happy?

to him: when you call me beautiful, i want to bleed. praying in the water to slip, so i won't face the guilt of having done it myself. and i open my eyes. "don't do that you'll go blind." you're afraid. for yourself. for what you've done to me. why don't i make you proud? why is the very ground bleeding?

my christmas wish: for you to hold my hand.