losing it

and it wasn't how i planned. but i couldn't be happier. a baby step in the direction of my dreams and finding myself. on a day so lazy and beautiful. even now it washes over me. all my scars can serve me. and in one simple afternoon i found peace. what was it like? everything i've ever needed to feel, and all the love i never got. it's made up for now. and for a little while, i'll be happy. forget the future and the woes of life for now. settle precious.

still there are moments of fear. i'm so scared. i am standing on the cusp of something wild. my life is wide open in front of me. i am making my first steps alone and i'm afraid to go solo. my only hope is that the ones i love will be a few steps behind me.

no regrets.