i am not afraid

i am slowly coming to terms with who i am. and it's painful sometimes. because i know how weak i can be. and i am starting to understand what this world is really like. i'm watching people i love turn out to be different people than i thought i knew. i'm becoming even more vunerable (if you can believe it) but, i'm a "smart girl" in the words of my friends. so it's not so much discovering that you can't trust everyone as much as it is believing it. and at this moment i wish i were someone else. something beautiful. but please don't think i'm stupid. i know whats going on and i know that you're a liar. but think of the things i haven't told you. where i've been, who i know, who makes me bite my lip like you do. so you bring her home to visit you. i've caught on to you. i know how to play the game, and thanks to you i'm really really good at it.