old angel midnight

"Whether this finds you before or after I see you again, you are and forever will remain the love of my life. No one is as brilliant, talented, generous, loving, beautiful, or confounding as you. Believe that.

---Love Josh"



letter with kerouac book #2

visions

snake through the windshield fog
all the low lying yellow of fingers of moonlight
like a tequila dream hallucination

visions of cody

i read all the pages of your heart
starring through the ceiling of a voidless god
spreading the watery gray down from my eyes

haunting momentary and touchable

swell in the empty space of my lungs
and i breathe you in
the cider smell of your hair
warm and spiced like your bed in the fall

pages of visions

playing favorites

"i'd like to think i was your favorite."
he nods his head yes.

"i have no doubt that we could have a meaningful relationship and be very happy together."
i nod my head yes.

"i'd like to think i could have made you very happy."
he nods his head yes.

"i can't tell you what i'm thinking because i don't want to confuse you."
i nod my head yes.

"i'd like to think it wasn't because i wasn't good enough."
he opens his eyes and smiles.

"you were great."
i open my eyes and smile.

"it just never came to fruition."
we both nod our heads and look away.

belfrey

i've always wondered just what the words were to a lost girl's ode to maybe. standing there with all the weight of the world on our shoulders. we are too young to be dying. yet you see the color fading from my eyes. we are too busy to be coddling or soothing the wounds to our ribcages. yet you can take the time to see my heart crack open and bleed in the streetlights like some pre-pubescent madonna, shrouded in centuries of self deprecation. we make out like some war hero, escaped from the depths our dungeons. barely scathed buy the gnawing in our bones to tear the walls down around us. let the building tension out by the blood of our pores. more violent rageful subtlety, the whisper of fingers across my face in gentle breezes. and we scream.

my skin burns like fire when you touch me.

down came your blackbird