i'm not getting paid for this gig

i'm ill today. and other things, but let's not play the problem. i feel like my heart in is my pocket. at least my mommy called me. the two greatest books i've kept are water damaged. but it's surprising how uplifting HANSON can be... lol, yeah i said it. i STILL like hanson! my voice hurts and i coughed up blood today. but i feel healthy-ish. i cooked. feels good to cook. it was yummy too, my life has meaning again. had the girls over for some shots.... none were taken. sad day. now one is in the hospital dehydrated from some virus... hope i don't get it. hope she feels better. MMMMBOP! sorry, i had a moment there. by the way, i'm losing my mind. or i feel that way. just need to get out of here for a while. i need to get away from my life. i'm scared today. that's what this feeling is. it's fear. probably from the nightmares i had this morning. but i'm optimistic. and hopeful. like this: http://www.deviantart.com/view/26027600/ hope it makes you smile. this is me today. i love you all. call me.