moving

i've been on the road. just constant moving from one failsafe to another, and the one and only night i spent in my home was full up with hurt and misery. this is not for me any longer, and i cannot keep myself from wishing i were back in that bland little room just a few feet or miles from those i love and care for. because right now i am on the edge of the universe looking out across black lakes of empty miles that cross this earth from where i am to where you are. on the way east, i tought every passing second brought me closer to my bed. closer to my rest. closer to the place i had needed to get back to. in actuality, it brought me closer to my cell, my darkness, closer to the monsters i had been fleeing. it brought me back to my private hell. and when i woke this morning in that bed, in that room, shrouded in black, i wished i was back at school with my windows open and the sweet spring air giving me peace. on my way south, i hoped i would be finding a reason to get out into the sunshine. i thought i would be coming to a place where i would not be my mistakes, but simply a girl on her way through time. instead, i was a dissapointment. so, when my time comes to head back west to my simple little room and the people who are not just my dreams (or nightmares) but are real and true and good for me, i hope that every second, every passing mile will be brining me back. bringing me back from what ever dark place i've been in. and i hope i see you when i get there.