near fantastica

i don't even know what to say or do with myself today. confusion. and in the back of my mind is the constant ache of "fuck it, i'll talk about it later." so what do i gain? what do i get out of just ignoring it? because pretending not to know something's wrong won't make it go away. so yeah, my neediness is at peak levels today. but thats because something was taken from me. and granted, it's all my fault, and it always has been, i can't help feeling that i don't deserve this. so i'm in a desperate kind of mood. those are dangerous. i'd kill for someone to let me cry without telling me that it's a weakness, to hold me without being annoyed that i asked them to. you now who you are, what you've been, and how you help. so come to the rescue.

"i need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me"