love, hate, miss

i struggle with the attempt to figure out what my day will be today. somewhere in the dark between here and a slightly larger city i began to break, i don't know what that really means but it sounded good.

the fact of the matter is i will parade through my classrooms pretending to learn the dedicated words and sounds and syllables. all the while some other song will be ringing in my head like a sweet classical tune.but is that enough to fall in love with my day???

i mentioned to someone the facts of a newly charged urge to bleed and had to explain i can't risk the scars. oh but how i want to. i wanted to. i did so really really wish do. and i could take them with me like my music.