to the boy who has marked me his own

you sprinkled your hatred on my lips
and kissed me like acid
leaving self shaped scars
that crack and bleed whenever you get near me

i am waiting for the days that i won't think of you
i am waiting for this long goodbye to be over
i am waiting for the moments that my mouth does not linger on your return
and for the kiss that won't taste like i hate you

i fear you more than pain and death
and suffering through hell,
because you alone hold my heart in your hands
why must we dance this destruction?

lingering on phone calls and moments of your voice
waiting for the haunting hollow stillness of the way we make love
and all the while pushing against the cosmos for your fatal poison
with you wishing you could be who i hoped you were

why do we come back around to this?
betraying others in ourselves to taste the sickness
cutting ourselves on the bones of our bodies
and sleeping in the blood our love has left behind