but it was beautiful....

drunk. all of us. hookah bar, cheese sticks cause i'm still hungry after dinner. it's an hour's drive to the ocean. the mighty atlantic. strike out 2 a.m. dark, cold, open road. the sky is firmament. stars are falling, i wished for you. haunted. water, ageless, black. lumination dancing in the waves. eerie. the sand is frosty like a huge pane of cold glass. food at 4. on the road by 5. quiet. still. nothing. void. the sky is quiet. the air is frozen. the world is dying. 6 a.m. arrivals. too tired to sleep. body hurts, can't breathe. watched it all die for nothing. the sun rises. three of us, exhausted humility and laughing. just laughing. i have been to the edge of the earth and back. the kind of laughing that fills up the deep winter night and brings on the dawn. shivering, sick, desperate. never so young, never alone as much i was then. surrounded but alone. i was thinking of you. i saw the death of the world. but it was beautiful....