letters to precious

pretty boy,
my one hope is that all those things you don't know yet will be enough to change your mind. not planning, not fighting. without agenda or motive. do you know that it's hurting me? you tell me about this good that you see in me, show me. and it's hard thinking that infatuation is the best i will ever get. why is it so fucking hard for me to believe that i will be enough? i still have faith in you. so let me get this out of me, please don't run. i am falling in love with you. and i am so outside. and honestly i'm am terrified of being hurt one more time, because i've gotten that from the world, i don't want it from you. and yes, i feel unworthy, and yes i feel like i want someone to hurt with me. i am selfish. i want to be your own. that's how i want you in my life. how do you want me in yours? and these songs are about it. i scan every word, praying for some sign that you're writing about me, thinking of me, wanting me. because i can make you happy. i just want that possibilty. all i've ever wanted was to be someone's priority. i have such little faith in love, teach me differently. you don't understand what he's done. you don't understand what they've all done. and i want to be so much more for you. and i'm sorry that i can't be. so, with that said, and again without agenda: lets play this by ear. just know that i want to be with you. the ball is in your court now. i love you.