the blood red dream

i went to bed with my hair wet, that way you don't like. i dreamed blood red dreams of how deeply you've hurt me. you broke all of your promises. my distrust is obvious. i took you off the wall, i slept in your clothes, i washed away your sins. i gracefully swayed on, trailing ash, soot, and cinder behind me. i radiated gray, blooming in all of my splendor. yes, i bloom without you. and i am learning to live in the wake of your abandon, your refusal. i don't plan to quicken my recovery from my past or my present. i will not speed up only to miss something else, i will not be zealous just for you. someone has seen my beauty. more will come to know me. i will rise above and become the glorious venus. who will love you like i did? anyone could love me better than you. because i have a brooding pain in me. because i cut my eyes, stare into the stars, and move the earth with my sighs. i am magic. they'll see.