an ear to the wind

am i blessed with the ability to show passion? to light flames in the heart of the already burning? and if i should run away, what would it give me? no, i will stand. i will stand and fight, even a losing battle. for my sanity and my soul are far beyond the distant shores of this violent, bloody war. i will stand and fight. i will fight the growing darkness, not become part of it, i will face the bitter winds and the bursting clouds. i will walk on, hands (yes those hands you love) clinched in darkness through the woods, headed for nowhere. i will walk on alone. if i have to. if none will go with me i will take my road alone. and i will prevail. the worst is behind me. i am leaving the city of dead streets and nightmares more horrible than you will ever imagine, burning into my sleep and haunting me for hours. that's what i've left behind me. but what i see ahead is still unclear and distant. it is here the orphan dies. i am a warrior. i will go on in this trial by fire. somewhere along this walk, i have come to think of life as mere survival. but in a death, i know it's so much more. life is at the very least fire and water and ice and snow all flowing down, liquid hot, blood black and smouldering in a passionate frezy. my body marks the story. my sight, my gaze, is the voice of years past this 19th birthday, a birthday even worse than christmas: not spent alone, but singled out. and the wind, the ever present georgia wind, is calling my name and pushing me forward, moving my feet when i don't have the strength to stand. i have a new purpose. time to put it all behind me. time to leave the fear alone. to understand it's over. to believe it. it's time to just let go. as you held me in your arms and said "angel, just let go."